Raising Freeza
by Chipolata
Summary: How does one raise a child to become the ruler of the universe? To King Cold, the job seems easy - until his second son, Freeza, returns from his mother's for training...
1. Chapter One: Disobedient Brat!

**Raising Freeza**

_Old King Cold_

_Was nasty and old_

_And the ugliest man you'll see_

_Cooler was his first_

_And Freeza came next_

_And they made a family of three._

_Now Cooler was a killer_

_A very fine killer_

_And made his father quite proud,_

_But Freeza, you'll see_

_Found he couldn't be_

_Everything his father wanted_

King Cold sat aboard his mighty X-3 cruiser, observing the bridge from his high throne and keeping a close eye on his crew. His long, curved black horns shone dangerously in the dim light, his blood red eyes showed no emotion. He tapped his tail against the floor.

His eldest son, Cooler, stood by his side. To be honest, he was thoroughly bored. At first, watching the stars and planets fly by was amazing, but he soon realised that it was going to be a long, long, time until he got to destroy anything. Hey, is that a fly on the wall?

Cold looked down at his eldest. Ten cycles, and he was already a great purger. Soon, he'd be old enough to command his own army. Unfortunately, his attention span left something to be desired.

The doors to the lift swished open, and an Andorran walked in. The poor blue man looked exhausted, dragging his feet and hair out of place.

"Ah, Sensei Tusket." Cold greeted. "How are things go--?"

"I quit." Tusket interrupted.

Several crewmen cowered. Nobody interrupted King Cold.

"What do you mean?" Cold demanded.

"That brat! I can't take it! Your son... I tried everything I could think of!" Tusket began weeping.

"You're one of the best fighting masters in the galaxy, Sensei Tusket. Surely you can handle a seven-cycle-old? Or is he too strong even for you?" Cold chuckled.

"You misunderstand me. We didn't even get to the fighting! He just wanted to play Pokemon. Pokemon!" Tusket shuddered. "I don't even know what one is!"

Cooler sniggered behind his hand. Cold glared at the Andorran.

"Are you saying you failed? You know how I reward failure." He replied icily.

"I don't care! Just get me away from him!" The man wailed.

King Cold waved his arm, sending a powerful surge of energy at Tusket. Within seconds, all that was left of the great Sensei was a smoking black mark on the floor.

'I was so sure Tusket could do it.' King Cold thought. 'Freeza has been disobedient since he came back from his mother's. It was a mistake letting her bring him up. I'm glad I destroyed her.'

An old Cha-num was mopping up the remnants of the Andorran.

Cold got up and waltz out into the turbo lift.

Cooler smirked. "Now I'm in control."

Cold marched down the corridors to his son's room, literally stepping on all who got in his way. Utterly furious at Freeza's behaviour and having to destroy Sensei Tusket, he was determined to sort the whole thing out now.

The sight that met his eyes once he opened the door was one of complete horror.

The boy was jumping on the bed, ice-cream in hand, wearing a blue Pokemon shirt. He was attempting to eat the tasty iced treat while jumping, resulting in the chocolaty goodness being spread all over his face. His clothes were all over the floor, his sheets were getting a thorough crumpling, toys hung from the lighting, the drawers, the doorway and he'd drawn horrid pictures of rockets and flowers and fuzzy things!

Cold shut the door, and willed his heart to slow. Then, taking a deep breath opened the door again. Freeza was gone!

Cold swung his head around, searching for the small boy who moments earlier had been on his bed. The bed, the corner, the toy box... he wasn't anywhere!

A giggle came from Cold's feet.

He looked down.

"Hiya, Dad!" Freeza laughed. "I tricked you!"

Cold glared at his son in utter fury. When the boy didn't cower, he picked him up and threw him onto the bed.

"I just talked to Sensei Tusket." He said icily.

Freeza didn't reply. Instead, he picked up the ice-cream he'd left on the bed and continued licking.

"He said that you were disobedient." Cold glared. "That you didn't do as you were told."

Freeza looked at the ground, kicking his feet. "Sorry, Dad."

"What did you say?" Cold seethed.

"I said, I apologise, Father." Freeza pouted.

"You will be punished, Freeza." Cold frowned. "You will learn to fight. You must learn that you cannot be disobedient, to me or to your teachers."

"But why?" Freeza whined.

"Did you just question my decision?" Cold stepped forward.

"No!" Freeza said hurriedly. "I didn't! I swear!"

Cold growled. "You are confined to your room, Freeza, until you change your attitude to your studies."

Freeza nodded.

Cold walked out. Before the door closed, he turned his head back to the youth on the bed.

"And clean your room! It's filthy."

As soon as Cold was out of sight, Freeza started jumping on the bed again.


	2. Chapter Two: Are we there yet?

**Raising Freeza**

_Old King Cold_

_Though brave and bold_

_Chose not to be a hero_

_He killed for fun_

_And when he was done_

_The survivors left were zero_

_Cooler he walked_

_Cooler he talked_

_Exactly like his Dad_

_But Freeza's ways_

_Put them in a daze_

_And his father became quite mad..._

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

...

"How about now?"

"No."

...

"Are we there now?"

"No!"

...

"Are we almost there?"

"No!"

...

"How about now?"

"For the last time, Freeza, NO!"

King Cold glared at his son, and turned back to the images of the Polarin Asteroid Belt flying by. He had directed his X-3 cruiser towards the Rijel system, whose third planet was in need of purging. Cold decided it would be the perfect opportunity to teach Freeza the tools of the trade.

"Does that mean yes?"

"NO!! Just shut up!"

Crewmembers piloting the cruiser wearily looked at each other, each praying for their shift to end. The young Prince had been whining since they had left the spaceport. One navigator had tried to put on earmuffs; the next moment they were mopping up his smear.

"Can I have an ice-cream?"

"..."

"Can I get a puppy?"

"..."

"Or a Pikachu? Can I have a Pikachu, Dad?"

"......"

"Dad?"

"..."

"Dad?"

"..."

"Dad?"

"WHAT?!?" King Cold raged, leaping from his seat. "_WHAT IS IT NOW_?"

"Nuthin'."

King Cold took a deep breath, tried to calm his temper, and looked down at his son. "What did you want, Freeza?"

"It's okay. I just needed to pee, but I don't now." Freeza blushed slightly, and looked away.

The old Cha-num rolled his mop and bucket to Freeza and began cleaning.

Cooler swaggered into the cruiser's food hall.

"Hey wiener."

Freeza looked up from his flooban and salmon sandwich.

"Heard you peed in your pants. What a baby." Cooler smirked.

Freeza took a bite of sanga. "Mashh eri shary."

"Swallow." Cooler growled.

Freeza did. "Dad's very scary."

"Huh. No he's not, he's boring. Doesn't let me blow up stuff." Cooler frowned.

"Why do you want to blow stuff up?" Freeza asked.

"'Cause it's cool, duh." Cooler rolled his eyes.

"Mommy said--"

"Mommy said?" Cooler laughed.

Freeza pouted, and turned to his sandwich.

"You're a loser, twerp." Cooler turned and walked out of the room.

Freeza felt tears in his eyes.

King Cold looked at the monitor.

"These are the co-ordinates, sir." The new navigator told him. "Rijel Three... just isn't there."

King Cold growled. "How is this possible?"

"I'm picking up some debris." The science officer reported. "Not much, we're lucky our sensors found it. Just some dirt, maybe a twig. And the alignment and orbits of the other planets in this system definitely indicates there was something here."

"So it was blown up?"

"Or vaporised." The S.O. typed at his console. "I'd say, not too long ago."

"And we could've received a very good price for that one." King Cold growled. "Do we have any weapons that could do that?"

"Well... not really, other than yourself. There is also a theory for a new weapon, something the tech boys have been cooking up for non-ki soldiers."

King Cold stormed back to his chair, and pondered for a few minutes.

"Science, get working on finding out as much as you can about the destruction of Rijel Three. And Tactical, build that weapon!"

"Yes sir!" The crew began working immediately.

King Cold frowned. "Somebody did that, and we need to find out who before they blow up another planet! We can't have someone just blowing up our stock!"

The elevator flew open. 

"Sir! Sir! King Cold, sir!" Two security officers ran into the room. "It's Prince Freeza, sir!"

"What is it?" Cold demanded.

"He's... he's..." One gasped.

"You're just going to have to see this for yourself, sir." said the other.

The lead security officer trembled. "It's okay, son... just put it down..."

"Y-yeah, no need for anyone to get hurt..." the guy behind him agreed.

Freeza grinned. "Do you want to be blue? Or pink? I think I have yellow..."

He picked up a tube of KraziPaint, and smirked.

The soldiers took a step back.

With a naughty chuckle, Freeza jumped on the purple tube aimed at the soldiers. The paint squirted out of the tube and sprayed over everybody, including Freeza.

Freeza laughed. He'd grabbed the paints his Mom had given him and decided to give his father's ship a little extra colour. He hadn't known that Daddy's soldiers might want to join in.

"_FREEZA!"_

Freeza froze. Blue tinted his cheeks in fear, and he slowly turned his head back.

"H-h-heya Daddy..." He stuttered.

Cold only glared in reply. He stepped forward to Freeza.

And got a face full of green.

Freeza burst out laughing. "You're all green daddy!"

Full of fury, Cold wiped the paint off as best he could, leaving himself looking rather sick, grabbed his son by the tail and dragged him out of the hallway.

There was a long silence between the soldiers.

"Um... maybe we should call someone to clean this up?" One suggested.


End file.
